Day-To-Day Faith

I was looking out from the railing of the bridge. It was only a 20 ft. drop into water, but it was this idea of taking a jump. I was scared out of my mind, for those of you that don't know, I have a very natural fear of heights. I hate being high up and even looking down (much less jumping from said places), is terrifying. I eventually jump, it only lasts for a second or two, but for those two seconds, it feels like time slows down. I see myself hurtling toward the water, the scream escaping from my lips, and the undeniable thrill of doing something completely out of the ordinary. I feel like I am on that bridge again.


I am surfing the internet, looking for flight times and information. I am trying on my graduation gown, making sure that it fits. Preaching in chapel as a senior. Preparing myself for the inevitable goodbye. It is so hard to stay engaged in the place where I am at now but prepare for the place where I am preparing to go. A professor here told me (wisely I might add because he stole it from Yoda), "All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless."

This stopped me in my tracks. I have been so excited for the next step, ready to face it head on that I forgot to stop and look where I am at now. I miss the conversations to be had, the friendships to be strengthened, and the love to be shared. There is so much to be lived and so much to be done right here and right now. The world doesn't need another person wishing for a different future it needs people living in the here and now. Living in the future is not the answer nor is living in the past. The only way to truly live is to live in the present that God has given you and I.

Yesterday I just had to stop and go on a walk, clear my mind and talk with God. I walked on our greenbelt just down the road from our school and I enjoyed the creation that God has placed right here in front of me. I saw the beauty that he made in the here and now without worrying about where He will take me in the future. It was humbling and beautiful all in one picture. I am grateful, grateful that God continues to live and move in ways that I can't even imagine, grateful that God moves and breathes life into the people around me. I'm surprised at myself for wanting to move on from something that God obviously isn't through with yet.


  With that being said, when I go, you better believe I will go. I will run through that door and into the adventures that God has in store for me. I will jump from the bridge into the water. I will say the goodbyes and get onto that plane. But in the meantime, I will thank Him for the friends I have, the experiences I have enjoyed, I will enjoy Him in the silence, I will enjoy Him in the laughter, I will enjoy Him in the calm, and I will enjoy the life that God has given me.