The Father of Chaos

There is so much confusion, so many lies, and so many scams in this world today. Everything from the media to our close friends, we are so bad at sorting through the mess and seeing the truth. What is truth? I love that question from Pilate right before Jesus is killed. How do we find truth in a world where lies and chaos are the norm?

My life for the last few months have been chaotic in so many ways. From family to school to my own personal life, I have had to process so many things and to throw it to God...but that is not something I do. There is this mentality in America (and elsewhere) to shoulder it by yourself and be the strong one. What happens though is that I find myself being incredibly weak. Weakness defines me, there is no way that I can stand up in my own strength and do what God has called me to...and that is humbling.

There is a verse that I have been reading lately, as I am sorting through this chaos, "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). Life is full of confusion and Satan really enjoys that. He is the father of lies, the anathema of truth, and he loves it when we are confused. So when we face that confusion, do we really think it is from God? God does not put confusion in our lives, sometimes he gives us choices, but never confusion.

With that being said, to work through the confusion, humble yourself before God and resist the devil and the confusion. Make a choice, seek God, and glorify God, Because God is not the God of confusion or chaos, he is the God of truth and of knowledge. 

In the Night, My Hope Lives on

In the night my hope lives on. The night seems to be all around us. There is so much darkness and hurt in our world. The world seems to be going crazy and there is absolutely nothing we can do about some of it. In the night our hope lives on.

Why should we hope? Why should we ever dare to hope that things will be better than they are now? This world is a mess, life is terrifying, the world is a scary place but in the night hope lives on. The darkness has to go away eventually. The pain of childbirth for Mary gave way to a glorious day of new birth for humanity. The pain of the cross for Christ gave way to the glorious morning of the resurrection. In the night our hope lives on.

This idea of redemption and grace, that is what we have to hold on to for our hope to stay strong. That looks different to each person, for the prodigal son it meant coming home to his father and for Peter it meant following Christ with his whole life. Where have I let hope die in my heart and how do I get that back? I think, deep down, that it literally means that we take a chance, get a little bit messy, and make some mistakes. We take a chance on Christ, this God who is so much bigger than we are, and we show love to the people whom the night has taken over.

Hope lives on, despite the night, despite the pain, and despite the hurt. Hope lives on despite the cross, despite the shame, and despite the dark. Hope lives on, not because of what we have done, but because of what Christ has done through us. 

My Heart Cries Out

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do things happen period? I look at this world, and I see so much hurt. People are crying out in Ferguson, men and women die from ISIS, children die of starvation, families are broken, pain is rampant. I understand Solomon a little bit more when he says, "Vanity of vanities, everything is a vanity."

I hate this feeling of helplessness, hopelessness, and pain. Some days it is like someone tore a little part of my heart out and stomped on it. When I feel these overwhelming feelings, I run to God and sometimes I yell at him, "Why did you do this? Why is this happening?" Other times, I just want God to tell me that its all going to be okay. 

A few weeks ago I was introduced to the book of Job in a completely new way. It was a song, and I'll provide the link at the end of this post. But in the song, God is basically saying, "Where were you the day that I measured, sunk the base, and stretched the line over the earth and carved out its cornerstone." In a moment of clarity, it felt like God was directing this question at me, Where were you Jacob? Did you create the sun and the stars, tell the ocean where to stop, have I seen where the ocean starts, or do I know the intricacies of nature? Humbled, I sit down and listen instead of talk. 

It almost sounds rude, but it shows me something. I, Jacob Bush, am not the center of this universe. I, Jacob Bush, am not the center of salvation. But God chose me and loves me. So, these things that I speak of, I don't understand. I feel pain and sorrow, but God is bigger than that pain and sorrow and he is going to work through that. 

I have spoken of that which I don't understand. Things too wonderful for me. One of the most frustratingly beautiful passages of scripture I have ever read.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLf_Nlukra0