Restless Hearts

Laying awake at night, trying to focus on my breathing, the moonlight shining through my window, and I can't help but think, where am I going? I am restless, some people call it senioritis, others call it growing up. But I think its more than that. This feeling that I have is more than just restlessness, its a passion that is growing in my soul that I don't think I can hold in for much longer. A desire to see new places and new people, a pull on my heart to make new friends, see old friends, learn new lessons, and experience life in a whole new way. Do you feel it?

Do you feel that pull on your heart? What a feeling it is, a draw to see what this life can throw at us, how we will love, how we will learn, and how we will live. I don't know about you but I am excited to see what I learn and how I live. There is this passage in the Bible that really speaks to my heart, its this passage with Elisha following the call of God to take a chance, chasing after this new life that he was being called to. He killed his oxen and fed a town, and burned his plow, all because God used Elijah to invite him to come and join him in walking through life together. So often I am reminded of different men in the Bible who followed the call of God. "Go to the land that I will show you." That is all that Abraham got before God called him to something bigger. "Come" that's all that Peter got from Jesus when he walked off the boat and onto the water.

What went through their minds when they were doing this? Were they thinking that they were about to go on a glorious adventure? Maybe they felt terrified. 

I am facing the prospect of moving to Lincoln, Illinois this next fall to pursue a graduate degree. While I know a few people who live in Illinois, it is almost surreal for me to think that I will be leaving the Northwest. I am trying to enjoy my time here but its always there in the back of my head, reminding me that my time is short. Maybe I won't move to Illinois, maybe I will move to Oregon or Thailand? Maybe I will stay in Boise?

It is a strange feeling really, knowing that there is really nothing that you can do to change what will happen, but I know one thing for sure. God is in all of this in various ways and I trust Him. I am going to keep on pushing towards Lincoln and see what God has in store for me there. Maybe I will figure it out on the way. All I have to say in the meantime is this, Illinois, you had better brace yourself. Because I am on my way, and I have no idea what is in store. 

Live a Life you will Remember

Live a life you will remember. Will you remember your life as something worth living or was it a life that was meaningless? Will my life be something that I can look back upon and say that I lived it fully, with a focus on who God was? I think that as a people, we have an opportunity to live our life to the fullest in a way that shows love and grace to the people around us. If you showed a random act of kindness or love to one person each day, you will have impacted 365 people a year. Those 365 then go on to impact another 365 and so on and so forth. Within a decade do you realize just how many people could be impacted?

Now lets flip that. If you hate one person a day, gossip about one person a day, hurt one person a day for a full year. There are 365 people that you have impacted incredibly negatively. Those 365 people go on to impact others and there is a different chain reaction. 

Now lets switch this one more time. In your life as you go through the day to day. What is your reason for being alive? In the midst of this pain, death, shame, guilt, and heartbreak, what is the point of living? I think that the answer is pretty simple, seek God and live a life worth living. The two terms are synonymous. If we are following God with all of our heart than we will be living a life worth living. I like to think that in the midst of this hurt that we see in the world, there is something to live for. 

Maybe its cheesy, and I am probably

naïve for feeling this way, but I think that Samwise Gamgee had it right when he said that there is some good still left in the world. See, we get so focused on living a life worth living, but when we focus on the one who made the life to begin with, I think then we begin to see our life from a different perspective. Instead of, focusing on the problems that we face, whether that is depression, shame, or pain, focus on the one who once said to us, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

In honor of that go and live your life in a way that is worth living! Tell the guy/gal that you like them, go bridge jumping (make sure the water is deep enough and there are no sharp rocks), go travel the world, but make sure that you live. Not necessarily a rich or extravagant life, but a good one nonetheless. Because as another wise wizard once said, "It matters not what someone is born but what they grow up to be." 

Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello, and Lord of the Rings

As you may or may not know, I am obsessed with everything Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien is in my mind one of the greatest literary geniuses of the 20th century, as a story teller he is on par with men like C.S. Lewis and William Shakespeare. He created the best literary journey of all time when he coined the phrase,"In a hole, in the ground, there lived a hobbit." These books have been a part of my life since I was a little boy, and I find these books to be a part of my day to day life, more so now then I ever thought possible.

As some of you may know, my goal is to be a missionary. Not a missionary in the typical sense of the word. Yes, I want to show people the love of God, but along with that, I want to live among different people and see what it means to be a part of their community. Life is not about what we make, it is not about what we do, its about how we love the ones around us and the adventures we can take with them, not about how comfortable we are. "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." I may not always have the nicest things but Tolkien taught me what it means to love the people around me above the things that I own. Maybe its cheesy, I'm okay with that though. I'd rather be the most cliche person in the world going on adventures than the most sophisticated, clever, and quite boring person ever.   

It's difficult to thing about but I'm saying goodbye soon. I have been going to Boise Bible College for almost four years now. When I first moved here, that was an adventure in and of itself. I took that chance and left the people that meant the world to me to learn something new about myself and the world around me. "It's a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road, if you don't keep your feet there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." This world is a big place, you don't know who you are going to meet tomorrow or the next day, but get outside of your comfort zone and go see the world for what it has to offer. Go and see far away places, within the last couple of years that has included Boise, Germany, Mexico, Ohio, Indianapolis, and others. I have met people who now mean the world to me. I took a step out my door, and trust me, I have not kept my feet. 

"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide, all they have to decide is what to do with the time that is given them." Go on an adventure, read a book, do your taxes, but live your life. Enjoy the good times, the winter snowball fights, the summer walks, the fall's pumpkin patches, and the springs life. Bad things are going to happen, people will die, friends will fail, economies will tumble, and you will hurt. Nothing can minimize that, and I really don't think we are supposed to do that. Instead, we do what we can with what has been given to us, no matter how hard that might be. But we also enjoy the things that have been given to us. 

Finally one of my favorite quotes ever, "I am very fond of you, but you are only a little fellow in a wide world after all." Spoken by Gandalf to Bilbo at the end of the Hobbit, this perfectly describes what it means to be an adventurer. Yes, we are saying goodbye to parts of our life that have been with us for so long, and yes we are going on brand new adventures to worlds we have never known. But at the end of the day, we are still small people in a big world after all and that's okay. 

Maybe I am a little bit cheesy or maybe I oversimplify things. But I think that Tolkien was on to something when he wrote these words. Perhaps, all we need is a wizard to come and knock on our door to go on a brand new adventure. What's your adventure going to be?