Journeys in Grace

Grace is a funny concept, I feel like whenever grace is mentioned it always has to do with Jesus having grace for us or for us to have grace for the people around us when they hurt us. Very rarely do I ever hear people say that you have to have grace for yourself. This concept of forgiving ourselves and not carrying guilt can be incredibly elusive, at least to me. Elusive that is, until I came to Germany.

Unterwegs is a community based on grace, grace for one another and grace for themselves. If I could choose one word that has defined my summer so far it would be (you guessed it) grace. It means to let go of the guilt that we place on ourselves or the expectations that we place on ourselves. In the words of the great theologian Elsa from Frozen we have to let it go because we can't hold it back anymore. We cannot hold grace back anymore because of the grace that has been given to us. We don't conceal or don't feel...we forgive.

I feel guilt pretty regularly, whether it is for things that I said (or didn't say), things that I did (or didn't do), or if I am just having a cruddy day. I am being reminded though of a simple question, "How can we hold grudges against ourselves or other people when God already forgave that?" If God has already forgiven me and others than I need to forgive them. If I do not forgive then I say that God was wrong to forgive me or them. Unterwegs continually shows me grace despite my weaknesses and I want to show that grace to the people around me, whether in Germany or America. That is what the Gospel is all about, whether you are serving children in Africa, pastoring a church in America, working a job in Germany, or strolling the streets of Tokyo. Christianity is showing the truth, in love and grace through the words we say and the actions we use.

These last few weeks have had an incredible impact on my life. I have wrestled with every emotion I think possible, grown more in the last 3.5 weeks than I have in the previous 3.5 months, and have developed friendships with people that I know will last for much longer than just this summer. The most profound impact  as I have said is this crazy concept called grace. It is interwoven into every aspect of life here and it is something that I am continuing to learn. As I continue to learn, I want to seek Christ in every way imaginable, so that I can be more like Him everyday. So until next time, have grace for yourself and the people around you.

Jacob Bush

Find the Story

These last few weeks have been an incredible experience for me as I cry, laugh, shout, yell, and inevitably run from zombies in a church at midnight. I don't know what God has in store for me as I face the remainder of this summer but I know that He is good and that He loves me (despite the fact that the zombies got me in church).

This last week has been incredible, I have been able to meet so many new people and hear so many new stories and I wish you could get the chance to know them. They are incredible people with beautiful stories. That fact is what hit me on Wednesday night. I was walking around Tubingen and I was getting to know different people and hear their stories, and I realized that each and every person around me has a story that is completely different from mine in some ways and very similar in other ways even though we are from different corners of the world. It is a little bit mind boggling when you try and put it all together.

The men and women here have become very important to me in only two and a half weeks and I cannot imagine leaving them at the end of the summer (so I am not going to think about it). But this short amount of time has encouraged me to think about the stories of the people around me and my own story. What do our stories look like? Do they have a theme song (Mine would probably be either Shakira's This Time for Africa or Pompeii by Bastille)? Is their story just beginning or coming to a close? Wherever you are people have a story to tell and I think that these stories all point back to the fact that God is there through the good times and the bad times. Through the culture shock and the triumphs. You are the star of your own story as it is written by the hand of God. So, I suppose the question I ask myself today, "What will my story look like this summer" and "What will my part be in other people's stories?"

I want my story this summer to be filled with grace and love towards the people around me, deep friendships, and maybe a couple of dragons (What is a good story without a dragon). Most of all though, I want to grow in knowledge of who Christ is and of his love for me and the people around me. Nathan Fillion said it best in Castle with his line "I'm in it for the story."

This Crazy Adventure

Over these last few weeks as I see my life flash before my eyes and a new one unfold right before my feet, I wonder to myself, "How the heck did I end up on this sort of adventure?" I look at the people that I have met here in Tubingen, my friends back in Boise, the other interns scattered throughout the world (on adventures of their own no less), my friends in Newberg and Arco, and I wonder to myself, "How did I get dragged into this crazy adventure?" I am not the same man I was two weeks ago. Over the last two weeks, I have laughed, cried, and felt just about every emotion that God has allowed man to feel. But as I look around me, I know that I am right where I need to be. Yes, I am scared. I feel the depths of loneliness in this new culture, I've wallowed in self pity (generally during the culture shock phases), and I have felt my own insecurities rising up around me. But through it all, what I see is not my own insecurities or pain. No, as I look, I see that God is doing something incredible in the lives of His people including me.

This last week, I have had the opportunity to become better acquainted with Unterwegs and what they do. It was kind of our orientation week because all of the students were out on a holiday week (I think it had something to do with Pentecost), so we got a crash course in Unterwegs history and practicalities. I learned how to shop in a Walmart sized German store (which was entertaining to say the least), how to run some events, and what Unterwegs is all about. This was all fantastic, but there was a part of this trip that affected me even more.

You see, we were given a lovely tour of Tubingen by some of the students who stayed in town during this holiday. It was a beautiful tour and these two did a fantastic job. But as we were exploring the town, we stopped by a church. Now this church, it is pretty old (like built in the 1100s old) and we decided to explore it. As we explored it though, I was struck with this realization though that the faith once held by many in this church is not something that is held by many today. It made me sad, sad that God's love is not felt by the ones who need it most. It continues to make me sad and I hope that this love continues to change the world.

We also explored an old castle and village in Tubingen which was incredible. I literally could feel the history of the place around me. The fact that people have lived their lives there for hundreds of years was incredible to me and it was humbling as well to know that life had gone on for hundreds of years before me and would continue to go for hundreds of years after me. It reminds me of the fact that I am not that big of a deal, so I need to get over myself.

Of course, one of the biggest international competitions of the year (besides the Olympics) has started this last week, that's right, the World Cup. It is such an incredible opportunity to sit with other people and watch one of the best sports in the world. Really, it is just a good time to get together with friends (whom I had no idea existed about 3 weeks ago) and eat and drink. It is a fantastic time that I would not trade for anything. Though I have to say, the Spain and Netherland's game was really sad for me, I was rooting for Spain and they got their butts kicked.

This last week has been incredible, getting to know these people, cheering for our teams in the World Cup, touring Tubingen, and learning about what God is doing in Germany. I hope to have more to show you guys as the weeks go on, but right now, I want to give you a glimpse into what God is showing me.

As I have followed God, I realized this week that I see God as an angry father. In my head I know that this is not the truth, but my actions show otherwise. This was pointed out to me by one of the Unterwegs team members, he encouraged me and told me "You being here is good enough. We need Jacob just as he is right now." What that means is, I do not have to complete a check list for God to love me anymore than he already did. When everything I did was contrary to who he was, God still loved me. Being here and being filled with grace and love is what God wants me to do. That's what he wants you to do as well, so if you are reading this, show love and grace to the people around you, whether you are in America, Germany, Kenya, Thailand, or Guatemala (You get the idea). Show love to the people around you and be filled with grace, because God showed grace to us first.

Until Next Time!

I will call upon your name

This is a longer post today, just a warning. 

As I look at this last week and a half I realize one very important thing: culture shock is tough. When I came here I did not think that I would struggle too badly because Europe and America are similar in many ways. Never have I been so wrong.

It has been a hard transition these first few days as I see God working in me in ways that would have broken me even a year ago. God has placed good people around me though as guides in this process.

First my intern team has been incredible. These men and women have blessed me in ways I did not think possible. They have shown God's love through both actions and words and I could not do this without them.

Second, the Unterwegs team in general has been fantastic. They had us go in a trial by fire these past few days but all of us knew we had them to fall back on as we experienced a new culture. They have been incredibly good to us and I am grateful for each of them and the work that they have already done. 

Third and finally, the people back home have been fantastic. Your prayers and encouraging facebook messages have been more than appreciated. I cannot express enough that I would not be the man I am without you ladies and gentlemen.

So I suppose you are wonderig what exactly I have done these last few days. Well here you go.

We landed on Wednesday morning and we went full speed ahead all day. We were introduced to some of the team and what they were about at Unterwegs.  (You all should check out Globalscope and what they do it is pretty fantastic). After a long and exhausting day I began to experience little pieces of culture shock. It was kind of rough but I pressed on.

The second day I learned how to grocery shop in Germany. This was probably one of the more terrifying experiences of my life as you are expected to bag your own items as every one behind you on line watches you...I felt like Atlas with the weight of the world (or in my case the groceries) on my shoulders. But I got to hang out with students later on for Donnerstagabend. That is basically a thursday night hang out time where we have a lesson and some songs. So overall it was a good day plus I got to try German bread.

Finally, we went to the Black Forest for a weekend retreat.  Even though I caught a cold I definitely felt that this was one of the most exciting experiences thus far. Relationships with people were built, trails were hiked, smash face was played, and I grew up.

You see God and I had a wrestling match and well I lost. But unlike my namesake from the Bible I get to keep my hip. By friday night, between feeling ill and the full blast of culture shock, I told God that he chose the wrong guy to come to Germany.  Surely there were better people than me to love and send. After my rant, God spoke very quietly but very firmly: I chose you for a reason straighten those weak knees and lets go. I love you but you have lost focus.

After that my time has gotten better despite my cold. I have realized that God raises those up who rely on his strength it is not about how strong I am but about his strength in me. I will call upon his name even though the waves surround me, the whirlwind englufs me, and the fire embraces me. I will listen for his voice in the tiniest whisper.

Keep me in your prayers as I face this summer with renewed passion and vigour.

Jacob Bush

My Lighthouse

The song "My Lighthouse" by Rend Collective really describes the emotions that I am feeling in my soul and in my heart: "Shining in the darkness, I will follow you." It is so odd to me that I can feel this strange mixture of joy and fear. I am afraid, because I am travelling to a new country and I have no idea what to expect from this culture, from this people, and from God. It is natural to be afraid, we have to struggle with that fear on a daily basis, whether it is with our daily lives or the big decisions. Sometimes, God has to drag us through it all to get our attention (this has happened to me more times than I care to count).

I am also filled with joy though at the people that I have met here in Indianapolis. There are men and women from Oregon, Colorado, California, North Carolina, Indiana, Illinois, South Dakota, Tennessee, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and several other states who have all come together with the goal of serving Jesus Christ in various countries throughout the world. It astounds me just how much God has been doing in not just my own life but the lives of these new brothers and sisters. I feel a love and care for them that I cannot explain or contain! God has given me a love for these people whom two or three weeks ago I would not have known or cared about. It has given me a lot to think about in regards to my own walk with God. How is God preparing me to minister to people I have never met? His plan is a ridiculously convoluted plan that makes me stand in awe of who this God is and what he is doing in the lives of the people around me. 

God has also been teaching me about what it means to lead people. We had to do some team building activities yesterday that were really similar to a team building retreat I went on back in October. These activities reminded me that I do not need to be in the front in order to lead someone. No, sometimes, the best way to lead people is to make sure that everyone gets heard in the group and that everyone works together so that the ones in front can do their job. I struggle with that though because I do enjoy being in front of people. I enjoy the attention! This is something that God continues to chisel at and I am excited to see what kind of growth he has in store for me. 

So this summer, as we all work our jobs, our missions, our homes, and in our churches, lets focus on loving the people around us with the love of Christ. It's time to put away our pride, our need to be first in this world. Our job is to show the world Christ through our actions and our deeds. So it's time to change the world, one soul at a time whether that is in Germany, America, or anywhere else!

To the people who have supported me thus far, I am so grateful to the work that you have done for me. You are truly a blessing in my life and I hope to update you with stories of what God is doing through his church in Germany. Continue to pray for me to be a strong witness to the people around me, an encouragement to all I meet, and for the other interns throughout the world. There are at least 9 or 10 different teams who need prayer. It is an exciting time and if you have any questions by all means let me know!

Until Next Time, 

Jacob Bush